Successful man tackling manager!!!

A successful man, working as a sales representative in a large company,
tells his boss one day,
“If you want me to continue working for you, I need a 20% raise.
You have 24 hours to give me an answer.
I have four companies chasing me, so let me know your decision”.

The boss is alarmed. “In this recession, a 20 percent raise?
So many employees are being laid off, and so many others have
seen a major cut in their salaries, yet you want a 20% raise?”
“I will not argue with you,” says the employee.
“As I said, there are four companies chasing me,
so just let me know your decision.”

Next day, the boss calls him in, and says,
that due to his great performance he decided
to comply and will give him the requested raise.

“Great,” the man says, “ I will continue gladly with you.”

As he is leaving, his boss asked,
“Out of curiosity, who are the four companies chasing you?”

“Oh” he responded,
“Kotak Personal loan , Citi credit card, SBI Vehicle Loan, and HDFC Home loans.”

I have to repay them all😂😂😝😝

Ant and Grasshopper – Indian Version of story

Ant and Grasshopper – Indian Version of story – too good and fact
Original Story:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool
and laughs dances plays the summer away. Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
……………………..

Indian Version:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant’s a fool and laughs dances plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands
to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

NDTV, Times Now, CNN IBN, BBC, CNN , Asianet show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper
next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant’s house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter .

Mayawati states this as ‘injustice’ done on Minorities.
The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers.

Railway minister allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the ‘Grasshopper Rath’.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ‘Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act'[POTAGA] , with effect from the beginning of the winter..

Education minister makes ‘Special Reservation’ for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, it’s home is confiscated by Government
and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV, Times Now, CNN IBN, BBC, CNN.

Arundhati Roy calls it ‘A Triumph of Justice’.

Railway minister calls it ‘Socialistic Justice’.

CPM calls it ‘Revolutionary Resurgence of Downtrodden

.
.
.
.

Many years later…

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley ,

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India ,

….AND

As a result of losing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the grasshoppers, India is still a developing country…!!!

For more Jokes see also,

http://facelaptop.com/category/jokes/

http://facelaptop.com/tag/change-attitude-for-life-story/

http://facelaptop.com/tag/joke/

http://facelaptop.com/tag/whatsapp-jokes/

Dinner with HR Manager

Girl :- Lets go for a dinner tonight … !!!
Boy (a HR Manager) :- Ok … !!!
Girl :- But where will you take me … ???
Boy :- Should we go to Mint Food (an economic restaurant) … ???
Girl :- No. That’s a very cheap place. Let’s go to Tomato’s (A brutally costly place)… !!!
Boy :- *silence for a minute* Ok, See you at 7. I will pick you up from your place … !!!
Boy picks up girl at 7 … !!!
On the way …
Boy :- Once I had pani puri competition with my sister and she ate 30 pani-puris and defeated me … !!!
Girl :- What’s so difficult in it … ???
Boy :- Defeating me in Pani-puri eating competition is difficult … !!!
Girl :- I can easily beat you … !!!
Boy :- Please leave it. It’s not your cup of tea … !!!
Girl :- Let us have that competition right now … !!!
Boy :- So you want to see yourself defeated … ???
Girl :- Let’s see … !!!
They both stop at a Pani-puri stall.
They start eating.
After about 30 Pani-puri the boy gave up … !!!
The girl was also full, but to defeat her boyfriend, she ate one more and shouted, “You lose.” … !!!
The bill was Rs 120/-

Moral of the Story:-

‘Main aim of a HR Manager is to satisfy employee with minimum investments.
Winning attitude with less investment, ensuring strong Return On Investment, ROI … !!! 😜😄

More related FaceLaptop messages here,

http://facelaptop.com/tag/change-attitude-for-life-story/

http://facelaptop.com/category/marriage/

http://facelaptop.com/tag/creative-snapchat-messages/

http://facelaptop.com/tag/whatsapp-love/

http://facelaptop.com/category/friendship/

http://facelaptop.com/tag/love/